Freshly milked

Resting under a 25-foot-high tree, a Balinese farmhand saw a passing tourist.

Pointing upwards, he ventured, “Coconut? $2.”

“Sure,” said the tourist, grabbing her camera. “For an extra $2, can I photograph you?”

“Can.”

As the tourist clicked away, the farmhand plucked a coconut—from an adjacent 6-foot-high tree.

Modern day woes in Nursery Rhyme Land

Jack rubbed his head.

“It hurts,” he said.

“Here,” said Jill, passing him two Ibuprofen.

Jack washed them down with a beer and said “I’m gonna sue ‘em.”

“Who?

“The authorities for not clearing the snow.”

“Well, if you’d paid the utility bill, we wouldn’t have slipped fetching the water.”

What's in a name?

For the journalist, it wasn't just a useful tool.

It was his invention.

So, off he went to the Patent Office.

There, a clerk reviewed the application.

“Your signature’s missing,” she said.

And offered him a pen.

“I’ve my own, thanks” he replied.

Before proudly signing the form, ‘Lazlo Biro’.

A Royal Pickle

The King was hungry.

So he rang the kitchen and demanded a ham sandwich.”

“Make it yourself,” came the reply.

“What?” said the King. “Do you know who I am?

“Yes,” came the reply.” But do you know who I am?”

“No,” said the king.

“Then make it yourself!”

Pablo and Me

Once, I bumped into Pablo Picasso in Paris.

I was looking for the Louvre and he kindly drew me a map.

Recognising who he was, I cheekily asked him to sign his drawing.

But Pablo just ripped it up.

Which was a real shame.

As I never found the Louvre.

Small Talk

After another night on the town, I bumped into my MD in the lift.

"Shit!" I thought.

"You look rough, " he said.

"Yeah," I said. "Another all-nighter."

He asked, "really?"

"Yeah. That's three this week."

"Hard work," he said. "I like that." And gave me $50.

 
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