Freshly milked

Resting under a 25-foot-high tree, a Balinese farmhand saw a passing tourist.

Pointing upwards, he ventured, “Coconut? $2.”

“Sure,” said the tourist, grabbing her camera. “For an extra $2, can I photograph you?”


As the tourist clicked away, the farmhand plucked a coconut—from an adjacent 6-foot-high tree.

Modern day woes in Nursery Rhyme Land

Jack rubbed his head.

“It hurts,” he said.

“Here,” said Jill, passing him two Ibuprofen.

Jack washed them down with a beer and said “I’m gonna sue ‘em.”


“The authorities for not clearing the snow.”

“Well, if you’d paid the utility bill, we wouldn’t have slipped fetching the water.”

What's in a name?

For the journalist, it wasn't just a useful tool.

It was his invention.

So, off he went to the Patent Office.

There, a clerk reviewed the application.

“Your signature’s missing,” she said.

And offered him a pen.

“I’ve my own, thanks” he replied.

Before proudly signing the form, ‘Lazlo Biro’.

A Royal Pickle

The King was hungry.

So he rang the kitchen and demanded a ham sandwich.”

“Make it yourself,” came the reply.

“What?” said the King. “Do you know who I am?

“Yes,” came the reply.” But do you know who I am?”

“No,” said the king.

“Then make it yourself!”

Pablo and Me

Once, I bumped into Pablo Picasso in Paris.

I was looking for the Louvre and he kindly drew me a map.

Recognising who he was, I cheekily asked him to sign his drawing.

But Pablo just ripped it up.

Which was a real shame.

As I never found the Louvre.

Small Talk

After another night on the town, I bumped into my MD in the lift.

"Shit!" I thought.

"You look rough, " he said.

"Yeah," I said. "Another all-nighter."

He asked, "really?"

"Yeah. That's three this week."

"Hard work," he said. "I like that." And gave me $50.

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